Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Three Bad Words

This is a true story, as true as the memory of this 81-year-old can be.
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In early September, Nadine and I visited Nadine's son Adam and his family. They have recently relocated to Richmond, British Columbia (a suburb of Vancouver).  Adam and Judith have two children, Elior, a seven-year-old boy,  and Na'amah, a three-year-old girl. The kids refer to us as Bubbie and Zayde.

One day Elior and I were walking home alone from a nearby park. We were about a block from Elior's house when the following conversation began:

Elior: Zayde, I know three bad words.
Me: Oh, really! What are they?
Elior: the N-word, the B-word, and the F-word.

Then he continued:

Elior: Zayde, what does the N-word mean?
Me: The N-word is a very bad and very hurtful word. You should never use it. I'm not going to tell you what it means. I think you should discuss it with your father and mother. Would you do that?

Elior shook his head, signifying that he was not willing to do that.
I thought about it some more. I know what the F-word is, and I know what the N-word is, but what's the B-word, I wondered?  I better check.

Me: Elior, is the B-word "bitch"?
Elior:  Yes. What does it mean?
Me: A bitch is a female dog.

We didn't go any further exploring why the B-word is a bad word.
A few moments later.....

Elior: Zayde, tell me some more bad words.
Me: Elior, I am not going to tell you anymore bad words.
Elior:  Then, Zayde, how will I learn more bad words?
Me:  Elior, you'll learn them from your friends.
Elior:  Zayde, how will they learn them?
Me: They'll learn them from their older brothers and sisters.

By this time, we had arrived at Elior's house.  We never got around to the F-word.
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Later, I wondered: if a "bitch" is a female dog, what is word for male dog?  I Googled it and found the word for male dog is just "dog".  After the dog and the bitch have offspring, he is a "sire" and she is a "dam". So, technically, no canine can be a son-of-a-bitch...he is a son-of-a-dam.

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