Tina's Daughter

It was around the year 2000, because that year the Chinese movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" was released. I was working in the IT organization at an aerospace company in the San Fernando Valley; Tina was a programmer there. We worked in different groups, but often met at the coffee machine.  Tina and I had several conversations about Chinese movies during that period.

Tina's background was interesting. Her family was Chinese. During what we called the Vietnam War, her family was living in Saigon when it became clear that the Communists were going to take over the country. Her father was a gem broker who dealt in precious stones. Her family fled Vietnam on a refugee boat with the clothes on their back.  I think her father carried a sack full of diamonds. 

Tina arrived in the United States at the age of ten or eleven, and was thrust into public school knowing very little English. Of course, she graduated, got educated, learned computer programming, married a Caucasian-American, and had a family.

During that time, Nadine and I had seen several Chinese movies, sometimes with the beautiful actress Gong Li. I first befriended Tina over our common interest in Chinese movies. She explained some of the nuances in the movies that I did not understand, knowing very little about the Chinese language and culture. 

Eventually Tina told me a little bit about her family. At that time her son was about twelve years old, was in public middle school, and was struggling somewhat academically. Tina and her husband were sending him to a Chinese language and cultural school on Saturdays so we could learn about that part of his heritage. A public school teacher told Tina that she thought that this separate academic activity was causing him some of the confusion and problems that he was experiencing. I told Tina that I strongly disagreed with this and hoped they would keep up his Chinese education. 

Sometime later, one day I was walking down the hall, and I saw Tina up ahead talking with another friend, Stacy who also worked in IT. As I approached, Tina beckoned to me and said "Coleman, come and see my daughter". Immediately, a soft warning bell went off in my head; Tina and I had talked at some length about Tina's son, but she had never mentioned to me that she had a daughter. I came up to them, and Tina showed me a picture cute 6-year-old Chinese girl. I looked at the picture, and then looked at Tina.  Despite the soft warning, I blurted out "Tina, she is very pretty and looks just like you"!

Off to the side, I heard Stacy giggle. Next, Stacy and Tina both broke out into laughter. Then Tina told me the story; she and her husband had decided to adopt a girl from a Chinese orphanage.  They had already made one trip to China and met a candidate child, and they were going back the next week to formally adopt the girl and bring her to the United States. 

I apologized for my faux-pas. Tina wasn't offended, and thought it was more humorous than anything else. 

About six months went by, when I ran into Tina again in the hall. I asked her how her daughter was doing, learning English and so forth. She told me that her English was very proficient, that she was a gang leader in her first grade class, and was sassing back to Tina now in very proficient Valley-Girl English.  I said it was too bad that she had not retained more of the traditional Chinese culture of respect for her parents.

More about Chinese female immigrants at another time.